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storm-driver · 7 months ago

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ep 24/25 : aight, reign storm. the first two-parter/one-hour special. i didnt watch this live back then because i was REALLY young and hadnt developed an interest for danny phantom yet. so someone correct me if im getting this wrong. was this a two-part special that was split into two episodes, or was it just a big one-hour block? the source im using to watch this has it split into two parts.

so immediately i need to be the child that grew up in the 2010s and point out the neural receptors in the ectoskeleton suit reminded me of the fucking springlocks in the fnaf suits and im so fucking childish, FUCK.

FNAF STOLE FROM DANNY PHANTOM???

anyways, reign storm actually was a lot better than i remembered. i don't think this episode appealed to me much as a kid since the action was sorta sparse, but i appreciate it a lot more this time around, how the episode paces itself.

ghost king pariah dark is unleashed by dumbass masters teehee, and now danny has to deal with the consequences!!!! rest in shit, king

so immediately this episode sets up for valerie and danny to get proper relationship development down the line by having them bond over getting hounded at school. plus when the ghost invasion starts, and they're forced to work together as huntress and phantom, it's a genuine pact. valerie still doesn't trust him, but she can recognize the real threat when she sees it.

i wanna point out, the fact that every single ghost was so fucking afraid of pariah that they deliberately threw themselves into the human world is such a show of power for pariah himself. EVERY GHOST that danny knows RAN. EVERYONE WAS SCARED.

skulker scouting out the area right outside the portal after pinning danny and just commandeering everyone to flee was kinda awesome. also, danny throwing himself down the stairs into the lab and sliding across the floor to act as the sole barricade against a ghost invasion was ALSO cool, but in a "oh fuck" kinda way, yknow.

pointdexter is the only ghost out of the invading bunch who kinda acknowledges that what they're doing isn't exactly good, shoving humans out of establishments because they need a home to stay in. and i appreciate that the most human-like ghost besides danny has some humanity and pity for everyone else. except it's immediately hilarious bc skulker points out they're all just living in stores and not actual houses, so props to ghosts for not evicting people from their homes LMAO

when danny tries to get info from the other ghosts, it's showcased as everyone sitting around a campfire while skulker recites the legends about the ghost king. except it's also a gag bc they're just in a lil store with a shitty fake campfire to act as the mood lighting and the visual gags in this show are so fucking underappreciated, i refuse to let anyone ignore this image.

the lore behind the ghost king is interesting to me from a canon standpoint because i cant really imagine where it would've gone from here if it ever got brought up again? the crown and ring being such powerful relics that only fiercely powerful ghosts can even wear them is interesting, but then i need to wonder what constitutes a ghost being powerful enough to wield it? could danny feasibly do it? or anyone else in this room? it never gets brought up again, but i would love if it was in the novels, since pariah was briefly seen in some of the panels.

this shot of danny screaming WE MIGHT ALL DIE, BUT LET'S DIE TOGETHER is great btw, love this kid

also, it never gets brought up again in the episode, but a random shitty fenton probe gets launched into the ghost zone and it never does anything for the rest of the runtime, what even was that.

danny is fed up with vlad lowkey being the cause of this whole mess and outright goes to give him shit for it, then when vlad gets cocky and insists he's controlling the whole chess game, danny loses his temper and just SLAMS HIM. the angry ghost eyes, the lamppost breaking so he can clock vlad without worry of being seen. vlad accusing danny of fighting just like he does, cold and dirty, and danny screaming back "I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU" it's all SO GOOD. IT'S ACTUALLY GREAT??? i wonder if they ever expand on this (they dont.)

once pariah gets the ring back and it's Looking Dire, that's when danny realizes *ahem*

he's not strong enough on his own to fight pariah, but his parents come in clutch again with the ectoskeleton. but still has imposed risk with how the suit just drains your life force, even if it makes your power output a hundred-fold stronger. so danny riding this thing into battle is do or die.

i appreciate the moment where valerie attempts to pilot the suit because she's realized the same thing, the suicide mecha thing is the only hope they have for fighting back. but danny, in a slight joking manner (but also incredibly kind-hearted way to sorta save valerie???) slaps the hood off her face to expose her and make her father panic. and grabs the suit for himself to pilot.

they weren't kidding when they said it was a death wish, the entire lead up to the final fight is framed as danny's last words he might say to his friends. everyone's sad, but trying to be hopeful. danny himself finally gets to rebuke the stupid fuckin invisobill name and tell everyone what his ACTUAL name is, and it actually sticks, too. people use the phantom title from here on and it just feels right.

the actual fight itself is a little goofy fun. danny gets to fuck around with the obscene power of the mecha suit, which has a blue light as opposed to a green one, i like that teehee. it's pretty obvious this was the episode that burned the fucking budget of this show though, there is a lot of needless cgi where i would've gotten the point from hand drawn frames. still, it's fun to watch shit explode violently, so the skeletons just BLOWING UP after a while was good fun.

the other ghosts make a last-second return to help danny fight pariah's army of ghosts, so that danny himself can devote himself to fighting pariah. poindexter looks so fucking funny in this shot tho dude, like wtf is he even gonna do here. he is Actually just a dude.

i would've liked to see more physicality in the fight itself, since danny is sorta just getting his ass beat while showcasing how stupid strong pariah is for DEALING with every kick danny is throwing at him. he only gets the upperhand slightly bc the mecha is able to give danny enough power to FINALLY DUPLICATE HIMSELF PROPERLY. which HELL YEAH KING, GET IT. bro was so upset when kwan did it accidentally in the other episode, and now danny gets to relish in it, even if briefly. he DESERVES a tiny victory, good for him.

so specifically with fight choreography, i feel the show would still benefit way more if they'd kept the person who did the storyboarding for fright knight. which i went back to check who that was, and i think it's Ray Angrum? he's the only consistent name between fright knight, public enemies, and pirate radio, which are the three episodes that looked the most distinct. though he is mentioned to have done at least SOME storyboarding for reign storm, but i have a feeling it wasn't the final fight sequences. or at least, not all of them.

the resolution feels just a lil too cheeky since danny casually shoots the crown off pariah's head and that makes him freak out for a second. which gives danny the time to throw pariah into the coffin again and try to keep it shut. but oops, he lowkey forgot the suit is KILLING HIM and there is absolutely no way he could keep it shut for however long it would take pariah to get tired, and danny sorta resigns himself to probably dying on this hill.

except, last second save, vlad shows up with the same key that started this whole mess and locks the coffin. it's nice to see that vlad did at least care for danny enough to save him from dying. dragging him back home and ensuring he was safe before hauling away with the ectoskeleton for a future episode.

he also...made a deal with the fright knight? allegedly?? but that ALSO never gets brought up again, so fuck me i guess for being curious.

the episode ends off with danny phantom being the accepted name for the ghost boy, and most people's opinions have changed about him. which is nice to see his previous screw-ups are able to be forgiven and danny has a chance to be respected for his selfless acts. it's a nice lead-in for the rest of the season, and i honestly think this special could've acted as a good launch point directly after memory blank. maybe if memory blank had gotten the one-hour treatment and this kinda episode came right after as a two-parter, it'd make the lead-in for season 2 feel a lot better paced.

as far as the episode by itself goes, i liked it. there's a lot of time dedicated to making sure the weight and pacing of everything feels right. episode times are even extended past the typical 22-minute mark in the second half because the fight at the end probably ran long with the resolution scene they wanted.

nothing really felt cut except for danny suddenly getting the upperhand in the final fight. but even then, he didn't just win. he was FIGHTING with his entire life to keep pariah stuck in the coffin and barely managed to do it long enough to make sure that it locked.

there's little moments scattered throughout the episode that help with the pacing. the suit getting built and showcased, the ghosts that fled trying to mesh with their new homes in the human world, conversations and short moments between vlad and danny, or valerie, or the other fentons. jazz herself helps cover for danny at one point right before the ghost invasion and sam just fuckign looks at her like ???? thanks but???? IT'S HYSTERICAL. but also, it's just nice to see a cohesive story with all of its elements getting the right amount of screen time. whoever handled the writing for this episode, props to you, you did great.

this definitely deserved the one-hour treatment as a special, and im glad to watch it again as an adult, with a little more appreciation for all the pieces i get to put together. im eager to see if the novel takes anything established here and does something with it. and im also eager to see if ultimate enemy and reality trip hold up as much as reign storm. i have a feeling it'll be different, but i do love this show and i'll gladly watch more of it for even a crumb of stuff like this.

WE'RE DOING A NEW POST FOR SEASON 2, HERE WE GO

(link to the season 1 post here, check the notes for each episode)

#danny phantom #storm rewatches his childhood #s2 #ep 24 #ep 25 #i can see why people love this episode a lot tho #it is an actual shame that THIS was the one that blew the budget tho #man.

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angelhyunjin · 6 years ago

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few hours left 🙇🏻‍♀💞

#i am so stressed and scared but also immensly excited #i wish all of my faves could debut but since i have lot more than 7...#impossible 🙇🏻‍♀#junkyu and mashiho pls pls let them debut 🙇🏻‍♀💞💞#i will cry so muchbshdnns #when the episodes out i cant even watch it yet bc im not home #hdbsnsn im nervous ahh #but im excited for the last stages too!#all of the eliminated trainees will perform going crazy as well 💞💌#one thing yg did right #ill probably yell later im sorry!!#jdksjsnns 💞💞#delete later

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prussiacide · 2 years ago

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nations who are good cooks

ok, i got a lot of ideas about this one too

romano: starting with the obvious. when he was living in america and working for alfred (seems like the interwar period?) he cooked for him along with being essentially a personal maid. and ofc its only natural that the representative of southern italy would be an amazing cook. in my human aus, i usually have romano either starting a restaurant or working as a chef, and in nation aus, i would imagine food is one of the areas he is never lazy in. if romano was at one point the representative of naples, than pizza would be a specialty of his (and he would have some STRONG feelings on all the different incarnations of pizza in america and arounf the world), along with pasta with seafood in it and dishes with salami. overall romano is def one of the best cooks out of all characters

antonio: ok, basically if spamano had kids their children would be blessed with amazing food no matter which parents cooking. antonio’s favorite part of cooking is watching others enjoy it. he loves having big dinners with his friends, like romano, ned, bel, francis, gilbert, and watching their reactions, seeing just how much they enjoy it. he’s kinda like when ur grandma coaxes u eat more even when ur full. and of course, olive oil is used heavily, perhaps even excessively, in all of his recipes. whenever romano asks him for a recipe for one of his dishes, antonio always refuses to give up the ‘secret ingredient,’ and everytime romano accurately guesses it’s (surprise!) olive oil

francis: i mean, he’s in the gastronomy or gastronomics or whatever they call it club in the hetalia academy episodes. and french cuisine is some of the most famous and delicious in the world. im not talking about the stupid little five-bite-and-ur-done french dishes they have at fancy restaurants, no, when francis cooks, it’s hearty, delicious, and filling. he’s especially skilled at making soups (even arthur cant deny that his french onion soup is absolutely amazing), quiches, and ratatouille, lots of so-called peasant dishes that will leave you full for hours and will make u feel warm and satisfied

sadik: yet another member of the gastronomy club in the hetalia academy episodes, sadik cooks very frequently in his free time (he’s another character who i often make a chef in my human aus). turkish cuisine, much like turkish culture, is influenced by a variety of different sources, like european, middle eastern, and asian, so i imagine that sadik is adept at cooking foods of different cultures around the world, and likes to incorporate flavors he considers ‘exotic’ into his dishes

yao: yao is shown to immediately want to care for people around him who are sick (such as immediately running to care for kiku when he has a cold) and i imagine him cooking for others is a big part of that natural instinct to care for those around him. now, im unfortunately only familiar with westernized chinese cuisine (which i hc that bc of yao’s appreciation of china towns and chinese diaspora around the world he would still enjoy westernized chinese food), so i cant really comment on specific authentic dishes, but think of warm soups and light snacks. those are his specialities.

tolys: i imagine that in soviet times, ivan had tolys doing a million things at once, including being a personal assisstant/secretary, cleaning the house, and cooking. i dont think tolys would love cooking or consider it a hobby, rather something that needs to be done bc people need to eat, but after years of cooking for the other bloc nations, he’s grown pretty good at making a variety of eastern european dishes, like russian pelmeni, polish pierogi, lithuanian beet soup, or ukrainian borscht, whatever ingredients he could get his hands on and whatever he could do to make the other bloc nations feel at home

gilbert: i only include gilbert bc i feel like although he wouldn’t be an amazing cook, he would be adept at throwing together an edible meal from found ingredients and anything he can get his hands on. the mans been a warrior/soldier his whole life, armys are not generally famous for their cuisine, so i bet over the centuries he’s become good at improving meals with found ingredients. he could make a decent meal out of some shit he found in the wilderness. i also bet hes amazing at making one specific dish—not sure what it is yet, still have to pick one — but just one specific food he can make on special occasions and everyone is blown away that ‘wow! gilbert can cook?’

#hetalia

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usermaha · 3 years ago

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omggg hi! 25 21 update pleaseee! fav characters, fav scenes and so on. rant your head off, please and thank you

finally someone asked me to talk about this show (i wouldve still talked about it but still thanks) im halfway thru Episode 5 btw.

Characters:

Na Heedo: remember how i said i want to protect her after reading your synopsis? the adoption papers are under process right now. she feels like a younger sister, so full of life, so full of hope, full of joy and bravery. she is so simple in her view in life, she has barely any forethought. she no has filter in her expression, and that makes her such a genuine and caring person. Her smiles the widest smile ive ever seen (im obsessed with her smile btw), then in the next scene her eyes are teary. she screams, she whines, she even throws her body around. bc she lives her life dramatically. and given the nature of the show i know she’ll grow up and time will take these things away from her. and i want to protect her from all of that. the faith that she has in herself. when no one believes that she has it in her, when she has no achievements to show for herself. She decides fencing is her destiny, she decides she’ll reach the top, and she makes it happen. For her, liking fencing, the excitement it makes her feel, is reason enough to stand against all the disbelief. I wish i had that too.

Baek Yijin: i intially thought he is the love interest former rich kid and i couldnt care less about him. Guess who was bawling her eyes out in Ep 2? I quickly realized that he is the one dealing with the actual adult repercussions of the IMF crisis. He used to be fun and popular, he had good grades, he wanted to go to NASA. but overnight he lost his dream, and most importantly, his family. watching him face humiliation after humiliation, worry over his brother, yearn for contact with his father, broke my heart. its easy to forget, he is just 22, too young to stand on his feet and face the creditors hounding at his door. He had his whole life ahead of him, and now all the good things in his life are gone. I remember the look in his face in the school flashback. I want that back for him. I want his happiness back.

Ko Yurim: i think the writers are showing her from a distant POV right now and will go in-depth with her character later. but yes i do have some resentment for her. I am genuinely confused as to why she cant stand Heedo. If its simply because she is worried that she’ll overtake her, im sorry but that’s not a good look. I understand the pressure she feels to follow up her gold medal, but unfortunately as of right now that doesnt balance it out for me.

Heedo’s Mom: i know she means well. but her view at her daughter is incomplete, she doesnt even know who she is, what she wants. and the parts she does see are always the ones she interprets negatively. she doesnt believe in her, and that ‘rejection’, you might say, hurts her deeply. That hits too close to home. Usually all that a kid want from parents is their support. They want them to accept them, for their achievements and their mistakes. And not getting that can haunt children forever. “That’s who you are to me. You’re someone i dont want to talk to” 💔

Coach Yang: she is so funny, and the accent, i keep trying to copy it lol. i initially thought that she’d be the tough love kind of coach, but i was surprised that from time to time she praised Heedo and made her aware of her little achievements and her strengths, and also valuable insight on the specific things she needs to work on. Like Heedo mentions in her monolouge, other than Yijin, she is the only one who has shown trust in her.

There hasnt been too much on Jiwoong and Seungwan’s characters yet so 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Jiwoong is a damn smooth flirter. he doesnt come off pushy, and his compliments feel genuine. Yurim seems to respond, the coast is clear given that she actually moves on from Yijin lol.

And Seungwan im really intrigued by bc she’s the top student and i immediately empathize lol. and another reason why i wanted to watch the show was that i saw a gifset of a scene between her and her mom. and i really need to get to the context of the scene.

So this was supposed to have a General Thoughts segment but this is already way too long so ill make the second post on my blog please check it out over there!!!

#25 21 #cindy 💜

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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

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Oh God

TimeTraveler!Son x Haikyuu!! Part 2

a/n: hehe i wouldnt put ‘x haikyuu’ if manager y/n ends up with that certain character. youll just have to,,,, wait for the end 😏

he didnt want to lie but he had to so he could survive

hinata offered his hand to help him up and natsu winced at the scratches and the slight headache as he stood on his two feet

‘you okay?’

hinata asked and natsu nodded

‘yea, just a headache’

natsu tried to play it off as cooly as he could bc this must’ve been from the car hit before and he couldnt just say he got ran over by a damn car

‘where do you live? i can go and treat your wounds there’

natsu was about to respond but he remembers hes not in tokyo anymore and he cant just spout out his address

so he did the thing his mom told him to do whenever it was necessary

he lied

‘i-um,,,’

he fumbled for an excuse but he sighed to maintain the act

‘i got kicked out’

he mumbled and hinata had to make him repeat it twice because he said it so quietly

the tangerine boy gasped and held his arms

‘what?! why?!’

natsu sniffled

‘my dad,,,, he just,,, doesnt want me’

well, that was actually true

so a true statement could equal that lie, right?

thankfully, hinata bought it and he grabbed his arm to walk forward while his other was pushing his bike

‘i hit you with my bike so the least i could do is take you to my house and treat you!’

and that was what they did

natsu’s phone was dead even though he was sure he charged it from denki’s powerbank during practice but it remained its black screen no matter how many times he hit the power button

his surroundings was also something unfamiliar

his mother only kept him in tokyo and never took him to go visit her family because she was kicked out and had to go live with her auntie when she found out about him and his father refused to help her

‘so, sendai, huh?’

he mumbled and hinata looked at him confused

‘sounds like youre not from around here. where you from?’

‘t-tokyo’

he replied and saw hinata’s eyes brighten

‘oh?! you look like youre my age so you must have been in a high school in tokyo, right? what school?’

‘yuuei’

‘hah?! yuuei?! what is that?!’

natsu rolled his eyes and shrugged

‘a school’

hinata persisted though

‘do you know other schools?! any other school friends?! like nekoma?! or fukurodani?!’

natsu shook his head and he was supposed to be happy that he got to meet, even talk, to his idol yet his younger self was much more hyper than his mellowed out behavior on tv

‘i stick to my friends from yuuei’

‘but what are you doing all the way here?’

natsu’s throat dried up and he watched his feet kick the pebbles to distract him of his urge to just whine and throw a tantrum with the confusion from this mess

‘i dont know’

he choked out and he was so tired and confused and all he wants to do is cry in his mother’s arms like he used to but she doesnt even know he exists

hinata sensed the tension and sadness from the boy beside him and tried his best to stay quiet until they get home

to say his mom was angry was an understatement

‘SHOYO, DONT YOU KNOW TO WATCH WHERE YOURE GOING?!’

‘kaa-san i was so angry and bakageyama was yelling at me and hit me and-’

‘THAT DOESNT GIVE YOU AN EXCUSE TO RUN SOMEONE OVER!’

natsu sat there on their couch awkwardly watching the black-haired woman yell at the human tangerine

he coughed in impulse and she turned away from her son and went to sit next to the h/c boy

‘dear, im so sorry for my son and his terrible biking. i didnt catch your name when you entered, what is it?’

even hinata forgot to ask his name but thats such a hinata thing to do though

natsu froze

if he was to say his mother’s last name, it would raise suspicion that he might know her in this time period and izuku has shown him enough doctor who to show him what happens when he messes up in time

again, he lied

‘kiri,,,shima,,, natsu. kirishima natsu’

he inwardly apologized to eijirou for using his last name

mrs. hinata raised a hand to her mouth with a surprised gasp

‘oh! my daughter’s name is also natsu! natsu, dear! can you come here for a second?’

natsu heard soft sounds from the stairs and she shyly walked down

‘come say hi’

she softly urged her daughter to come closer and the little girl ran to hide behind her older brother who gently smiled and held her hand

‘well, thats her. she just turned 10 a few days ago. look dear, kirishima-kun has the same name as you!’

she waved slightly and natsu felt his heart swell at the sight of the adorable little girl

his mother never really had time for relationships so he was an only child and never got to experience a sibling, only hearing the experience of having siblings from his friend, shouto

mrs. hinata placed a gentle hand on his arm to revert his attention back to her

‘shoyo told me what happened and im sorry that this is all happening to you’

he felt guilty at the sight of her sad eyes because this was all a lie but he knew if he told them the real reason, they wouldnt believe him

so he had to continue with the lie

‘everything was falling apart and i wanted to leave everything behind. so i just took the shinkansen to nowhere and ended up here’

mrs. hinata felt her heart tug because he was just a little boy and he was too young to experience this so she offered him something he shouldnt have agreed to but again, survival

‘you can stay with us in the mean time. our guest room has been collecting dust so you can live here’

‘what? no! i can’t!’

natsu instinctually turned it down because he hated people giving him charity

but the woman squeezed his arm to give him a smile

‘i will not allow a child to live in the streets because of something he couldnt help’

‘arent you worried youre inviting a total stranger in your home?’

but she gave him a knowing smile

‘im a mother. i can trust you, boy’

in exchange for board and food, he promised to get a part time job so he could pay her back and get out of their house as quickly as he could

shoyo led him to the bathroom upstairs so he could treat the wounds from the ground

natsu sat on the closed toilet seat while his literal idol was putting cream on his boo-boos

he still cant wrap his head with everything

maybe it was because he was so busy trying to come up with lies that he wasnt able to fully sit down and think about the fact that he just TRAVELED BACK IN TIME and could accidentally change it

‘shoyo, what year is it?’

he mumbled

‘2012′

he answered and natsu sighed but his head perked up

oh god

2012

thats a year away from 2013

the year he was born

that meant shoyo’s team manager was going to give birth to him next year

‘why? did you hit your head so far that you forgot?’

hinata joked but he paled when natsu didnt laugh

‘OH GOD DID YOU?!’

‘NO! AND STOP YELLING!’

natsu shouted, equally surprised

‘whew, thank god. again, im so sorry i hit you’

‘shoyo, dont worry about it, okay? im fine, i swear’

during dinner, mrs. hinata told him about his school situation

‘you can go to karasuno with shoyo. what year were you in?’

‘first’

‘perfect! shoyo is too so he could easily help you around the school!’

natsu nodded quietly, still out of it and his brain finally starting to accept this impossible reality

‘but i dont think i could help you with the entrance exams. im not the most-um-smartest, per se’

shoyo apologized but natsu already knew that

he was no extreme fanatic but he knew quite a lot about hinata shoyo, the player he watched during the 2021 olympics and the reason he started playing volleyball

natsu dreamed to join the msby jackals just like his idol did and eventually reach the national team like hinata did

it was during the olympics of 2021, he knew he wanted to be like him

this boy who sat next to him was the reason he came to love volleyball along with his other idol, oikawa tooru, from the argentina volleyball team after seeing that legendary match

when oikawa hit that service ace, natsu wanted to be able to receive that

he was merely 8 and his neighbor, midoriya inko, was babysitting him and she placed him and her son who was his friend, izuku, in front of the tv where they watched the olympics match

‘someday, ill be someone great. ill be great like him’

he promised and from then on, he worked to achieve that goal

‘natsu? hello?’

he was shaken from his thoughts as shoyo nudged him back to reality

mrs. hinata laughed

‘maybe you should head to bed early, dear. you must be tired after having a hard journey’

he nodded and was about to go and wash his dishes when she stopped him

‘no. go and sleep, ill take care of this’

‘i have to do my part in here, hinata-san. please, let me do this’

she finally agreed and he was scrubbing the plates when his mind wandered over to possible solutions on how he could go back

there was an episode that he watched with izuku that the character had to do something to go back

and he had a feeling that he would have to do the same thing

but what would that something be?

there had to be a reason he was thrown all the way in this time and it couldnt just be a coincidence that supposedly, this would be around the same time his mother would get pregnant

but who would it be?

he finished putting the plates on the drying rack and he felt really thirsty suddenly

opening the fridge, he found no water bottles and natsu had a very sensitive stomach so he couldnt drink tap water

his next favorite beverage was there and he pulled a glass from the cabinet

‘hinata-san, is it okay if i can have some milk?’

he called out and she shouted that it was okay

natsu poured the drink on his glass and started drinking it when hinata entered the kitchen and snickered at him

‘yknow, you remind me of my idiot teammate. none of my other friends drink straight milk except for him’

natsu placed the glass down and wiped his lips

‘chocolate milk make me sick and i hate the taste of flavoring in milk. but i just hate flavoring in general. except for gari gari popsicles, those are good’

natsu reasoned, watching hinata move across the room to get an apple

‘still ew. but come on! lets go to bed so i can show you around school early before practice tomorrow!’

natsu noticed his excitement by the way he bounced in place and he chuckled

it reminded him of his friends mina and denki

hinata led them both to his room so he could check his wounds again just to make sure

then something caught his eye

‘kirishima-kun you like volleyball?!’

that threw him off

partly because he wasnt used to being called by his friend’s last name

but also because of the question

‘huh? how do you know that?’

natsu asked, almost defensively

hinata shrugged

‘i saw your volleyball shoes in your bag’

hinata reasoned and excitedly pointed at them

‘you should play for us! im part of the team too! oh oh! what position do you play?!’

‘l-libero’

natsu stuttered out, slightly overwhelmed by hinata’s energy

hinata started circling him, inspecting his height and looking at him up and down

‘yanno, kirishima-kun, youre really tall. like much taller than the rest of my club. maybe not saltyshima but really!! youre so tall!!’

hinata whined in envy and natsu laughed

‘blame it on the paternal side of the family. my ma isnt really tall’

he laughs but then memories of his mother resurfaced and he suddenly felt gloomy, guilty, even, bc he doesnt know if time stopped there or it kept going and if so, shes probably worried sick

and he knew she was always one who blamed herself

hinata noticed his downcast expression and thought he probably remembers his dad and got sad since he got kicked out

so our baby sunshine freaked out and he frantically waved his hands around

‘oh no! gomen kiri-kun! gomen! i really didnt mean to make you think about him! gomen!!!’

he even bowed which surprised the h/c boy and made him stand back up

‘o-oi shoyo! dont! you didnt because i wasnt thinking about him!’

he fussed and patted hinata’s hair

‘i dont care about him. to be honest, there isnt much to think about’

he didnt think about what he said until he heard himself

natsu’s eyes widened, fearful of how hinata could take it but he flinched when the orange-haired boy’s eyes were filled with his own tears

‘OH NO!! KIRI-KUN!!!’

then launched another series of apologies and natsu had to calm him down

oh dear

it was early in the morning like 5 when hinata bursted into natsu’s room

the loud shout of shoyo made his eyes blink open and he groaned before turning to the side

‘come on, kiri-kun! we need to go to take your exam!’

‘nooooooooo’

‘yeeessssssss’

it was quite a battle for hinata to even just get natsu out of bed but he managed to bribe the latter with some milk bread from the bakery down the street

‘2′

natsu showed his two fingers and hinata sighed before nodding

‘yes. now go hurry so we can leave!’

dressed in his grey sweatpants and a yuuei sweatshirt, natsu cursed as he only has clothes good for 2 days and he didnt want to bother the hinatas so he was at a loss

mrs hinata bid the two boys good bye and natsu was yawning and dragging his body to walk while hinata was skipping over to his bike

then he finally realized the problem

he nervously looked at natsu and the taller boy didnt understand why he was looking at him that way

‘what?’

shoyo pointed at the bike and awkwardly smiled

‘uh,,, you see,,, i dont think youd,,, fit,,, at the back seat’

natsu shrugged

‘then ill bike. ive done it before’

he sauntered over to the bike and swiftly lifted his leg before testing out the brake handles

‘its good and better than mine back home’

‘a-are you-’

‘sit down, sho’

hinata gripped on to the back of natsu’s sweatshirt as he told him the directions to how to get to the school

natsu remembered watching an interview of hinata talking about his high-school life and he remembered the star player talking about his dedication to go to karasuno everyday for volleyball

and the boy couldn’t believe hes doing that right now, with his idol literally behind him, and driving to the legendary karasuno high school

from the jackals to the adlers and even some other teams like the frogs, natsu cheered for them

there was a memory of his mother sitting with him on their couch during one of her rare day offs as they rewatched the recorded copy of the olympics

it has become natsu’s favorite thing to watch

‘with great talent comes great hardships. people don’t become good overnight and i watched those people suffer through it all but look where they are now’

‘KIRISHIMA, WATCH OUT! COWS CROSSING!’

natsu was snapped out of his thoughts at hinata’s shout

then it morphed into pure and utter confusion

‘cows?’

shoyo laughed

‘since youre from the city, this must be a weird sight for you, huh? well, in the countryside, this happens a lot!’

but natsu didnt mind

in fact, he loved cows

he loved any farm animal in general

maybe it was his upbringing in the hustle and bustle of the city that he grew to love the countryside

shoto took him with his family to a trip to the country once and he remembered loving the smell of grass

they were able to do an activity in a farm where they worked in a rice farm and the peace and serenity was something he will always remember

his mother was lucky she grew up in a place like this

‘kiri-kun, ive been wanting to ask, how is your volleyball team in the city? are you a powerhouse?’

natsu felt pride bubble up in his chest

‘of course! we got second place in nationals!’

he boasted and blurted out before he could stop himself

then he felt fear

he shouldnt have said that because for all he knows, yuuei probably doesn’t exist at this time period

hinata had a different reaction and his eyes shone

‘WHAT?! WOAH! SO COOL! I HAVE TO TELL OUR CAPTAIN THAT WE’RE GETTING A POWERHOUSE STUDENT!’

‘uh-i-uh-’

natsu didnt know what to say because he had a feeling he definitely just did an oopsie

so he switched topics really quick to divert the attention away from his past

‘o-oi sho, once youre done being a pro volleyball player and stuff, we should have our own rice farm’

of course it was such a random idea but it distracted the orange boy

hinata shrugged

‘i mean,,, i have to be a pro first but i guess we can!’

‘hmm,,,, i dont think you have to worry about that’

.................................................

taglist:

@hartbeat-art @yakus-yakult @nerdyphantomlady @jollycowboysaladhero @cynicallychaotic

a/n: oh god this sat in my drafts for so long and i really dont know what im doing like i kinda have a rough outline of what im doing but im just going with the flow but i dont think the flow is quite flowy

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

#history 4 #history 4: close to you #*dont call me western ever #a thot

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plainvanillapotato · 5 years ago

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the 100 diaries S2 E8

quarantine diaries: may 29 2020

season 2 episode 8: “spacewalker”

yeah with this title, finns gonna die this episode isnt he? sooo looong spacewalker

ooo and with these two grounders? this is not a good sign for finn. they are coming for you finn. they want you.

blood for blood. hey its 18 for 1 that ain’t so bad

also why did clarke say this out in the open?? she really could have told her mom in private and just avoid this whole public uproar. how is it that clarke can be so smart sometimes but then be such a dumbass

yess raven. standing up for your friend even if hes been a dick and a thirsty boi. homegirl is loyal.

flashback...this is a bad omen. yep finn is definitely going to die.

ooh its the necklace. is that really a raven tho. i did get that. i thought was just a crane

yes they really are screwed if murphy has a gun

side note: no matter how much i hate finn rn. kudos to the actor like this finn is completely different person then when we first met finn.

clarke be spitting fire murphy. but he just spit some fire back. ok

lincoln....suffer the death of 18...like i agree but can we just hold the phone for a moment. lincoln was literally feasting on one the guardsman in the last episode and yet here he is. y’all could argue that lincoln wasnt lincoln when he did this. but you could argue the same for finn. yet no repercussion for him???? these people cant just pick and choose who has to face consequences. i really hate how inconsistent this show is sometimes

“that was another time. that was another chancellor.” speak abby speak.

honestly let finn go. let him redeem himself.

“im in love with you.” wow really be making him crazy. but at least he admits it.

“say something”...im giving up on you

“they’re trying to scare us.” well its working. but i do like clarkes fake it until you make it tactic because i can relate

kane of all the times to come back. also abby and kane? another ship?

abby said im keeping the leader. im still the leader. feminism

“its a strong possibility.” lol ok thats verrrry reassuring kane

if finn is going to be executed it better be clarke humming over him and then just stabs him in the neck. y’all know that would be his dream death

like i knew raven was smart but wow im so proud. i also gotta say you guys already know my hc for raven and high school musical. well i like to think that one of the reason she was so insistent on studying because the home girl gabriella montez.

also this is raven talking about her pre-existing condition. i love this meme too much. because it wasnt even created specifically for raven yet it fits so perfectly as her pre-existing condition = no spacewalk/no helmet and with this whole spacewalker/skywalker episode.

bellamy is such a loyal king. yes bellamy protect your people. i love this found family trope. i also love how even tho the ark came down there is still a separation between the ark and the 100 + raven cuz the 100 just really had to bond if they were to survive.

what if the finns gift was really just ravens name on tape tho. how made would raven be? but dont lie thats a better gift than killing 18 people.

ooh ravens the reason why hes in prison wonder she so loyal. but really finn threw this whole relationship for clarke a girl he just met. wooooooow. i honestly dont get it.

“if death has no cost, life has no worth”-lincoln. ok lincoln the philosopher

the fact that they’re not cutting back to monty and jaspers pov in mount weather means that shit is real. finn is definitely going to die. and he is going to die soon

wow character growth. finn not wanting to shoot a person for clarke. i applaud thee. but a little too late my dood

ofc they throw murphy in here. ugh.

raven’s face in that astronaut suite looks terrible. she looks like mr. electric from sharkboy and lavagirl. like editors really did her dirty.

‘when you need a healer, but your people only have one healer, and that healer is you’. oooh that look that finn gave to clarke. yeah hes gonna turn himself in isnt he?

now is not the time to be saying ‘thats what she said” finn. this is serious business

“i never meant to hurt you.” - finn. another high school musical 2 reference?? yep im convinced that these two watched HSM 2. but i gotta be honest raven and finn will never be able to live up to troy and gabriella

“always”-finn. they’re harry potter fans too. please give finn more original lines. please. now that i look at it. snape and finn have similar haircuts

“finn wasnt the only one at the village.” fuck yes raven. say it louder!!! raven is big brain.

ofc finn would turn himself in. i cant believes hes actually getting redeemed. but i shouldnt be surprised bc the writers really like to redeem their characters right before they kill them

raven, bellamy, clarke, or even murphy should have shot him tbh instead of letting him go with the grounders.

kane said “son” im still convinced that kane is bellamys father idc what you guys say

clarke gave bellamy the look. but also this is the dumbest idea i have ever heard. there are thousands. i know that raven is smart. but thats a big ask and a dumb idea

clarke walked into the spear literally what. soooooo unnecessary. who tf fuck walks into a spear?! but i guess clarke knows that her plot armor is strong af

“you bleed for nothing”-lexa literally!!! haha

that look that finn had when he saw clarke is was saying “you shouldnt be here but woooow clarke really looves me tho”

“i love you too” !!!!! oohmygosh! i was actually right about clarke killing finn?! (like i swear to god i swear to god i wrote down that prediction down before i saw his death and i wrote it as a joke wtf) this is the kind of death that finn would want bc ofc they give finn a romantic tragic death

wow so basically finns whole character was all just for clarkes development.

side note: is finn Clarke’s first boyfriend? cuz this a lottt. like the only other possibility ive seen up to this point is wells it was made pretty clear that they were never a real thing. like imagine if this show was marketed to be about teens coming of age and first loves then the show gives out this shit. but in general what is this shooow? like i know sokka’s first girlfriend turned into the moon but this. this is ‘thats rough buddy’

#the 100 #the 100 diaries #finn #clarke #bellamy #raven #murphy #lincoln #high school musical 2 #the office #thats rough buddy #finns death

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subjectsix · 4 years ago

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(thank you for the tag @aceofstars16 ily!!!)

this is me tagging you if you want to do this :] yes you. you wanna do it? i have tagged thee

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions (don’t cheat!). oh no bro i dont watch tv

Houdini & Doyle

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Psych

The Clone Wars (im still not finished with it dont @ me)

Star Trek: Voyager

1. who is your favorite character in 2? OH uh. all of them. but probably john? i love how it delves into how he shoulders his fate and how his fate doesnt even have to be like. what it is. like the idea that he isnt the savior of humanity, hes just painted that way-- and hes still important, but so are so so many others, and there are other leaders besides him, this is just how hes perceived by some, skynet included im gonna STOP im rambling charley and jesse are also underrated characters thanks

2. who is your favorite in 1? adelaide!!! but i love the whole main trio so much

3. what’s your favorite episode of 4? i have not seen a lot of it yet but i love the ones that show us sides of star wars we haven’t maybe seen before!!! i esp love the clone centric ones :] im only on season 3 help i kno my heart is gonna get ripped out

4. what’s your favorite season of 5? idk T-T im so fond of the early episodes, but the later episodes with tom and harry’s friendship and seven are also very dear to me. ya girl can’t pick

5. who’s your favorite couple in 3? i guess jules and shaun!!! theyre cool but i am here for the friendship and mysteries and SHENANIGANS

6. who’s your favorite couple in 2? charley and sarah’s dynamic kills me yall. ugh. like i dont even ship them bc theyve both clearly moved on but also AUGH. AUGH. and jesse and derek i want to know more about them and just-- h also it would be cheating for me to say kyle and sarah.

7. least favorite episode of 1? none of them there was so little of this show and i crave more every day

8. favorite episode of 5? its been awhile since i’ve done a proper rewatch but i loved the more mystery-based episodes! and any like. crew/family bonding things.

9. favorite season of 2? hhhh there’s only two seasons one i guess but both are so good oh no

10. how long have you watched 1? I watched it when it aired, even when on vacay with my sweet friend who took me to disney world (thank u i love u), and i tweeted fox and cried when it got cancelled :( that was 2016 SKJDHFKJHDF thank you for the one season it got i guess

11. how did you become interested in 3? i was in 6th grade and i LOOOOOVED monk and my friend was like “kip. check this out.” and suddenly everything i owned had pineapples on it.

12. favorite actor in 4? james arnold taylor! he’s neat. but i also love dee so much. and ashley and matt

13. which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? man they’re all such wildly different moods. voyager is home, scc is food for my creative brain, houdini and doyle is beautiful and lovely and dearly missed

14. which have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3? KDJFHKJFH well uh houdini and doyle has one season and psych has [checks notes] 8 and some movies. so.

15. if you could be anyone from 4 who would you be? kit fisto is the most underrated jedi siri send tweet

16. would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? dont give shaun and gus lightsabers. DO have ahsoka and anakin quote shaun and gus

17. pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely ok couple. not enough characters or deets to make this call ;-; i will continue to mourn this show

18. overall which show has a better storyline, 1 or 3? oh dang! i cant make that call again, bc houdini & doyle was just taking off and barely had time to get its feet off the ground. its more story driven than psych i guess, even though both are “monster of the week” types.

19. which has better theme music, 2 or 4? NO WAIT DONT DO THIS TO ME because bear mccreary went off with scc but also the percussion in clone wars makes me go feral

#long post #coffee talks #this is also known as 'everything i watch gets cancelled'

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megatraven · 5 years ago

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Who are your favourite love interests from each Lovestruck story you’ve read? And why? I love hearing you talk about the game, your vibe is so happy!!

OH BOY THANK YOU FOR ASKING omg and also thank you for not minding me talkin about it :D

My favorite Astoria character is Alex, which is probably the most obvious one to everyone. I wrote a long post about why i like them so much yesterday :) (but i want it noted i really really adore the other characters too, if Alex wasnt i nthe picture idk who i’d choose bc theyre all my faves.)

For Havenfall, it’s still Mackenzie. I love her not only because she was my very first lovestruck love interest, but also because she’s strong and kind and her heart is made of gold. She’s a giant nerd and a goofball and I really admire her character!! Her route was also really really interesting, the bond she had with MC was so cool! And god she has the patience of a saint, which, MAD respect for her when she has to deal with JD’s latest shenanigans lmao. And, god, you know... she’s a werewolf!!!!!!! How can i Not be absolutely in love with her? Her wolf ears were so cute i could Cry

In Gangsters it’s... it’s a three way tie, i Cannot choose. Rory, Ash, and Chance are just..... so perfect. I fell in love with all three so quickly and their routes have been amazing. The way Chance softens around MC and how he’s always trying to do his best by her just makes me melt. He’s got a protective streak but it’s not too intense to the point that it’s irritating. He worries a lot about being like his dad, but god that only proves how much he isn’t like him. And Rory- god, what don’t I love about her? I think my favorite thing, in her entire route, is that she goes sober. Her drinking is a Character Quirk(tm) in every other route and is even like that for her S1, but when MC comes into her life she stops because she wants to be a better version of herself and it shows, constantly. She’s got so much control and even in her weak moments, she’s not shamed or anything. She’s a hurt individual (i mean, they all are---) but she does her best to not let it define her and it shows. And Ash!!!! He’s so cute and the fact that Seymour instantly loves him made me warm up to him really quickly because, ya know, dogs are great judges of character and all that. He’s quiet and mysterious but he’s got some incredibly funny lines that always took me by surprise. He’s smart and calm and he’s really just such a sweetheart ;o;;

I haven’t played all of Love and Legends yet but I am so so so in love with Helena’s route so far. It’s made very very clear that she’s been hurting for so long and so deeply and it’s a beautiful thing to watch her heal from that hurt, to see her find someone that wants nothing more than to stand by her as she finds her footing again. Her magic is so cool (heh) and idk she’s just. So beautiful and smart and dangerous i’m always in awe when I look at her!!

In Sweet Enchantments, I have to go with Lucien. His character design is my very favorite in the whole app, I think. Teal is one of my favorite colors and he’s got some of the most beautiful CGs. He’s also a lot like Chance in terms of personality, meaning he’s pretty cold and mean at the start, but warms up to the MC. He becomes so soft and gentle and he grows so much as a person, he learns how to be true to himself and not just sell out to a bunch of rowdy fans. All his little gestures to show MC how much he loves her is also very sweet and i just.... he’s so good. He got what was basically two proposals in his route, too, which i was SO in love with. The first is without a ring and when he’s still working off his sentence, but he tells MC that he knows he wants to spend his life with her, if she’ll just wait a little while longer. And then later he Really gets to propose and it made my heart soar, it was so beautiful, it was perfect ;O;;;;

In Sin With Me, Cal is my big big big favorite. Cal comes off as kinda mean, but it’s a facade you get to see through almost immediately in his route. He’s mean because he leads a dangerous life and wants to keep people away, because he cant trust them. But then he’ll buy you the item you guys were fighting over, and he’ll catch you when you’re about to fall in a cafe, and he’ll make sure you get home safely. His relationship with the other troupe members is also very sweet- he’s best friends with Onyx and it’s always one of my favorite interactions in any route. And the way he’s so sweet and kind to Avi? To Malakai’s mom and MC’s mom? He’s got such a good heart underneath his snark!!! He cares so much!!!

For Reigning Passions, it is without a doubt Xenia. My reasons for her are less complicated: she’s a SPIDER LADY with FOUR ARMS and PRETTY SILVER EYES W BLACK SCLERA, how could i NOT be head over heels for her omg???? She’s who i’ve been waiting all my life for. But also, she’s so mysterious her whole thing is so cool. Mistress of spies? That’s the coolest title ever and I Am In Love With Her.

In Wicked Lawless Love im gonna have to go with Cecelia at the moment, although I still havent finished her OR Nathan’s S1s yet. She’s a vampire so??? Of course Im gonna pick her. Her thing with music is really fascinating and when she played the piano at the saloon to the tune of MC’s heartbeat? I nearly fainted lemme tell you, that is Exactly the kind of vampire shenanigans i need in my life.

Villainous Nights is hard because i legit love all of them so much I genuinely dont know if I can pick here. Their routes are all so interesting and unique, especially the MC and how her powers develop in each of them.Can I just pick Andi, Juliette, and Lorelei? Because I wanan pick all three of them. AND ALSO SHOUTOUT TO DUKE AND ZEKE AND RENZEI but especially Zeke and Duke. (Zeke’s special story had me sobbing btw i love him.) Andi is SO FUN and energetic and perky but she’s also like lowkey Wild and Dangerous and i loved that so much about her. Juliette is a giant giant giant nerd and a walking meme and her Bat suit is so freakin cool, I love everything abt her and her powers and EVEYRHTING. And Lorelei... she was the first VN character i played through and god she was amazing. She’s blunt and definitely a silent type, but she has such strong emotions and she’s got so much love. She was hurt so badly and it makes my heart ache but I can only love her more for it and how she works through that pain to be stronger than it. She’s so so strong i have. so much respect for lorelei.

I think thats it for the stories i’ve played all of or parts of!!! Honorable mentions go out to Serena and Vivienne and Zoe and Sofia andd Ellis and Antares! I havent played any of those stories yet but I did play the first free episodes and liked them most!

#long post #meg speaks #lovestruck #U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS TO PICK MOST OF THESE #I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE FOR SO MANY CHARACTERS ;O;;;;;#THANK U FOR ASKING THO <33333333

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fart-gate · 5 years ago

Text

SG1

Season 2 episode 9

🚨trigger warning: mentions of rape in my notes🚨

"SECRETS"

Notes by me

- the chief from abydos! Also daniels father in law :)

- no glasses!Daniel in this scene

- I love how dedicated Daniel is to his space family and their culture😌 like this random Egyptian planet was like I'm gonna keep you! And he said okie dokie

- "I couldnt possibly be safer than in the company of tealc" AKDEOSNDJSJSSKA

- Jack wants to go back too lol

- Daniel back in his robes 💕

- back home for daniel! To abydos!

- Bodyguard!tealc

- apologizing to sha'res dad for not being able to find her yet 😟 its not your fault babe!

- SHA'RE??? YOUVE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME WHAT THE FUCK

- tealc:

- shes pregnant and that is....really bad. If its one of the goaulds that raped her. This got dark real quick

- "husband!" "My daniel" I CANT HANDLE THIS IM ALREADY GOING INSANE

- he doesnt want to bring his hopes up that its actually her 😭

- hes shocked but like.....i would be too

- I was right its apophis kid :\ this so fucked up

- Host Baby??? Big Yikes

- okay I'm gonna say this right fucking now before i watch any more. If Daniel blames her and gets mad at her for being raped and getting pregnant WITHOUT her consent than i will personally come thru this screen and slap the fuck out of him

- meanwhile! Jack and Sam bonding time!

- SAMS DAD

- sha're thinking Daniel wont love her anymore :( she better be wrong or I'm throwing hands

- she said the goauld is Amunet? Is that the dog goddess? Or the crocodile? I'm getting my Egyptian gods mixed up

- Daniel sitting outside to Process™

- "hasnt she gone thru enough?" My brain stopped working I'm so happy hes not not blaming her. Writers for once youre doing something right

- man hes really emotional about this

- tealcs right they need to take her anyway for her own safety.

- do u think he sympathizes with her bc hes been raped too? Its not said but I feel like thats what it is. He knows it wasnt her fault. And that also means they can comfort each other about what happened to them😟bc they understand

- okay why is sams dad being a total dill hole

- "Ive heard nothing about you, sir." Jack youre not off to a great first impression

- Jack making sam smile with sly jokes

- her dad knows she be lyin about her job

- he wants her to go to space HAHA if only he knew. His tiny brain would explode

- Daniel said he loves her no matter what and then gave her a big hug im LOSING MY MIND

- are we keeping the baby??? Am I gonna see Dad!Daniel and mom!sha're ??? 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

- micheal shanks eyes are super blue in this episode for my viewing pleasure only

- protective!Daniel 😍

- I'm just remembering how they met and when she showed him the forbidden drawings in the caves and they spent days together just sharing knowledge. When he found out they were married(in her culture) and just completely accepted it. When he saved her bc he realised he was in love. When he stayed on abydos so that he could live a full life with her and her people because he felt like he belonged. I'm fine

- parents need to ask before they set up things like job interviews. I have personal experience with this and im full of rage

- this reporter literally having a recording of Jack talking about the stargate and Jack flatly denying it. Zero fucks given

- Daniel saying he wont force sha're into anything. Bc up to this point shes been forced into so much!! He knows he needs to let her make her own choices!!! He gets it!!!

- im sorry both Daniel and sha're are so pretty in his episode. My bisexual brain is just having a real good time looking👀

- I REALLY really love it when she calls him "my dan-yel" ❤❤❤

- the SGC has a mole???

- LABOR somebody boil water

- oh its my goauld mans with the sick earrings

- Daniel helping her give birth. Sitting behind her and helping her breathe. I'm love

- "this is where we hid from Ra remember?" Ajdjsisnana thats such a cool detail

- he'll never leave her again there goes my heart

- "It's O'Neill. With two L's. Theres another colonel O'Neil, but he has no sense of humor at all."

- dont you hate when youre about to uncover a huge government secret and then immediately get hit by a car

- shooting the zat gun into the camera was a cool directing choice 🔥

- sam: so I'm getting a medal for my service this week! Cool right?

Jacob Carter: I have cancer

- he could not have been any more blunt

- ok dude cant you just accept the fact that she cant tell you what her job? Dont you know what top secret means? Cant you just be proud of her for what she does already???? Dick

- "I will always love you!!"

- she is scared she will lose Daniel and the baby :(

- its a boy! 💙💙

- the goauld is back in control oh god Daniel run

- shes actually pretty scary as a goauld

- yeah ok shoot the woman who just gave birth tealc YEESH

- that was a good idea to frame Heru'hur tho

- Daniel hesitating to leave her again. My heart is breaking 😢

- they saved the baby at least

- poor sha're didnt even get to see her son 😔

- bringing the baby back to the grandfather was a good idea😊

- this baby is SO SO cute

- is Daniel a stepdad now. Is he gonna come back and play catch with the kid when hes older. Is he gonna fully adopt him. I want him to fully adopt him

- Jack blaming himself for the reporters death. You gotta stop doing this to yourself man

- black shirt Daniel 👀👀👀👀

- HAHA tealc shoving the jaffa into the vortex lmaooo

- "you dare challenge me?"

"I was thinking about it"

- WHEN JACK GRABS HIS KNIFE REAL QUICK AND SPEARS IT INTO APPOPHIS HAND

- she definitely saw them and didnt say anything

- "are you alright?"

"No. No im not.........but I will be."

"She looked directly at us, Daniel jackson. And yet she did not reveal our position." YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS LADS. Theres still hope for my girl. She can fight this I believe in her ✊😤

- I will say it again tho. This storyline for her is very fucked up. No excuses, its just a bit over used in sci fi for the women characters to have surprise pregnancies.

Whump under the cut

Tealc whump: fought with jaffa

Daniel jackson whump: shocked, emotional, crying, forced kneeling, back handed

Sam carter whump: emotional , crying

🎶listening to You Are The Reason by Calum Scott and Leona Lewis 🎶 in honor of Daniel and sha're making me lose my collective mind

No glasses!Daniel for most of the episode

#stargate season 2 #no glasses!daniel #bodyguard!tealc #tw rape #tealc whump season 2 #daniel whump season 2 #sam whump season 2

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starlinfae · 5 years ago

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Update of sorts. I just found out recently that I've been diagnosed without my knowledge with psychotic personality and mixed personality since at least 2004 (I was diagnosed transgender 2008 though my first visits over that were in 2003 and it was overturned in 2017). Whether I've been knowledgeable in 2004 or 2003 about the first two diagnoses, I do not know but with my current state of being, I do not recall ever being told about those diagnoses or having been treated for either of them at said era or after until 2012 when I had an episode that gave me psychotic personality diagnosis and medication (which nulled my entire sense of self and identity and I lost all talents such as singing and arts and any and all personality traits I identified/identify myself by). And didnt affect however any of the symptoms it was prescribed for.

I had the trauma and dissociation test finished, with the parting words of the nurse admitting based on her idea of the extent of my research into did/osdd (truthfully a few pages on did-research website) that she had a difficult time administering the test and claimed that since childhood I've been without control creating characters (she did not explain where she got this belief) to appeal and try to gain affection from my parents (sounded like kitchen psychology to me and left me entirely confused),while the truth is because of my cult upbringing and unstable mother and the whole religious dynamic pervasive through every single day of my childhood, I would've been making everything worse by play pretending to be a boy toward my parents. (This was the nurses point, that I wanted to be a boy to gain affection as if that would have worked and become a valid method of gaining affection. I have no memories of such nature toward my parents. What I do remember however is macro managing my behaviour by watching my mothers reactions, where she didn't even have to say a word for me to begin changing my behaviour to avoid her flipping on me or punish me for being wrong).

So in short, the nurse said the test indicated zero dissociative symptoms despite the symptoms i told her and I later repeated them to the doctor (she wrote down that my symptoms don't show up in the test as well).

All the interactions of the nurse were leading and suggestive questions that never had a follow up question further than an answer she deemed to support her idea that I don't experience what I experience. As if she has never worked with a trauma patient that predominantly seeks to minimize and deny trauma and triggering experiences by masking them inside a positive thing or twisting it into a positive thing.

Most of the sessions I felt low key attacked and doubted and like I was supposed to know things I have no way of knowing, such as what happens when I experience amnesia or who fronted during the period I experienced amnesia or if someone else in the system knows what has happened during the time of memory loss or how often memory loss occurs (I only became aware of the specific memory loss because it directly involved other people and the appointment times were incorrect compared to which appointment I thought I was going to, if it had never come up the way it did, i never would have caught on the memory loss at all). If I'm the one with the amnesia, how am I supposed to know the answer to these questions?

Or forgetting details such as what lead to my first sex or that I've attempted suicide in the past. Or that I've forgotten one of my elementary school mates (the only real one) had died a year prior to me refinding it out through fb. (I have a memorial necklace charm now, so I won't forget again). Or having ironically good memory of the layouts of the houses I grew up in, except in two of the houses, they both have the same second floor. One is real and the other one, I have no clue where I slept, where I played, who I shared my bedroom with, what happened on that floor, what that floor looked like, where my brothers slept and what did they do day to day. I have zero memories involving that second floor of that house (aside the only one of watching the neighboring house be on blazing fire), where all of us kids still lived at home. I have one hazy memory of my oldest brother (who has been later described by my other brother as generally violent and disturbed toward my other brothers, he almost strangled the third one by hanging him) and that is about him putting so much ketchup on his macaroni that even the dog couldn't stomach it when I took the plate to the dog.

The oldest brother got engaged and moved out while we still lived in that specific house.

Overall I have a good decent amount of memories (where I am either alone, with external people - mainly other children or then feeling rejected, neglected, punished, disapproved of by all family (aside my oldest brother, he's just a black presence that's never in contact with me or any of my memories) including relatives), except any trauma memories (including second hand trauma I have logically witnessed based on the hint memories and what I've been told about our family).

If im telling any "stories" it's one of Nothing bad ever happened in our family and even though I was alone and rejected by everyone, I was a happy kid. Most of my memories are from summer or sunny days.

So I am left hurt, doubted, dismissed and ridiculed even. And I'm leaving things untold that are outright misconduct toward a patient by a medical professional. And I was basically argued and condescended to til the very end and laughed at during a switch (because the doctor didn't understand what the fuck happened during the meeting with the alter who fronted and then us switching and shaking her hand thanking for her time when we were leaving). And these two were supposed to be somehow specialized with dissociative disorders, yet I had to hear how there is zero main criteria that DID has to have and how ICD-10 is just a mix of guidelines and symptoms and differs greatly from DMS criteria and that DID is a very rare disorder, relevantly new diagnosis and is very rarely diagnosed in Finland as if that makes it as rare as their diagnosing of it. And I'm just saying, other diagnosed Finnish people have publicly outright said that if you want help, you ain't gonna get a diagnosis or accurate help through public sector (where I was tested and all the above is from) but that if you want help, you're gonna have to see a private sector doctor. And I can't afford that, unfortunately and I'm so so tired and disappointed and feel unsafe with these people.

My current nurse uses misdirection by disrupting my talking during our sessions by saying irrelevant comments or demanding to finish lengthily their thought that has been established mutually already that it has nothing to do with my situation or the way I cope with things but is how she personally sees it and how it works for her/how she copes and how others cope. And she does this to shut me up. As if I wasn't there for my care and to get help with my problems but socialize with her about what she personally finds works for her and other and how sleeping badly because the brain can't clean itself from gunk can cause memory problems. And she succeeds in shutting me up because she forces me into a social mode/alter instead of listening to the parts that are connected to trauma. So I can't continue talking because I no longer even remember what. The. Fuck. I. Was. Talking. About. I guess my brain is dirty.

The doctor gave us only one diagnosis that is mixed personality disorder and it is described with profound diffusive identity, dissociative symptoms, psychotic personality symptoms.

I'm so fucking exhausted. I haven't wanted to die as many times in my entire life as I have wanted to die these past few months. I've never considered myself suicidal but I just don't want to exist like this anymore. There's no help. No one's offered anything to help with my problems. It's like they haven't heard a fucking thing. "so how have you been feeling?" is the fucking first thing the nurse wanted to focus on. When I told her I shut the whole system down after the diagnosis bc I cant deal with things (because the angry part wouldn't shut up and was making us crazy by going things over and over even though we can't do anything about it and made us completely apathetic we couldn't function) she says "isn't that a good thing?"

ISN'T THAT A GOOD THING??!

Please, I don't know, the fuck, I'm not sure more education is gonna help it. I don't have words left anymore.

#Tw vent #Tw abuse #Shit and #Medical vent

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nat-20s · 6 years ago

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top 5 breakdowns youve had over david tennant doctor who episodes?

okay okay okay so this is biased bc I’ve been rewatching the donna season and she’s my favorite but let’s GO

5. HE BLEW UP A SUN. TO SAY GOODBYE. WHAT THE FUCK. THAT’S LOVE BITCH!!!! AND THEN HE DOESN’T EVEN GET TO PROPERLY SAY I LOVE YOU I SCREAMED. I don’t actually remember which episode this was but I do remember that I was, as the kids say, Big Oof over it

4. The ending of family of blood like holy shit. Holy shiiiiiittt. I think that even though we knew he was a no second chances kind of guy (which i could write so much on holy fuck am i back on my bullshit) that was the first time that it, like, hit me not only the things he was capable of but the kind of person he was capable of being was actually cruel. I think I had to sit down and reassess things after that.

3. Fires of Pompeii. Just all of it. Donna hearing where they’re at and what day it is and IMMEDIATELY trying to save people. The doctor being so so resignated and her being like umm??? fuck that actually??? Her learning about how much awful knowledge is stored up in his head. Them pressing the lever together, her deliberately reaching out so that he doesn’t have to take the burden of that decision alone. Him watching everybody suffering with practiced outward indifference and her sobbing, feeling all of their suffering, having to watch and STILL desperately trying to save them. The doctor leaving while Donna is watching the family and her having to leave them for a moment and her begging for him to go back. Them finally getting to reach out and save them. the fact that this moment is so vital that FUCKING TWELVE CHOSE HIS FACE TO BE REMINDED OF THE LESSON DONNA TAUGHT HIM I FUCKING CANT DEAL WITH THIS

2. I. DONT. WANT. TO. GO. I think we all collectively lost our fucking MINDS over that ending. David tennant was like: soft. Crying. and I was like SCREAMS. Also the fact that his doctor not from saving like the whole world or galaxy or universe but just so that he can save Wilf, even though Wilf begs him not to and is willing to sacrifice his life?????? Is so wonderful, like, thematically, and also fucking wrecks me.

1.Journey’s end? More like journey’s end my heart. I think I have yet to be so thoroughly traumatized by a character’s ending except maybe the end of bbc merlin. This one might be worse though. It’s been a decade and I get NO closure and I’m fuck. Like when Donna starts to repeat words and both you and the doctor know what’s coming and it’s absolutely fucking devastating to the point where, if you’re like me, going back to the earlier adventures with them is so much worse. Also just like 12 year old me and now year old me both projected pretty heavily onto donna so it’s all just fuckin rough. AND THEN!! AND THEN HE SAYS HIS LAST GOODBYE TO HIS BEST FRIEND AND SHE DOESN’T RECOGNIZE HIM AND BARELY EVEN NOTICES HIM LEAVE AND IM FUCKING CRYING ALL OVER AND IM JUST. This ending is so fucking much!!! Because it’s so tragic on BOTH ends!! Like I know TECHNICALLY donna is okay but you gotta wonder!!! We KNOW she felt like there was something missing from her life before she ever met him so it wouldn’t be unreasonable to believe that happens again but like 10 times worse!!! You GOTTA wonder if she goes through life feeling like there should be someone wonderful at her side, a best friend, a platonic soulmate, but there isn’t, and she, from her perspective, is desperately missing someone she’s never met. I’m!! Fucked up!!!! Also also also i read a snippet from a doctor who magazine that was like “a lot of people fancied the doctor but he was happiest when he was Donna Noble, his nest mate” and I’m losing my SHIT okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD she was like..willing to die so that she didn’t have to forget what the fuck what tHE FUCK!!! WELCOME BACK TO ME SCREAMING

Honorable mentions:

the hand wall scene with ten and rose you know the one. Planet of the ood is A Lot, like when he lets her hear their song of captivity big oof big big oof. The fakeout in song of sauntarun (i have no idea how you spell this) where Donna is like “i have to go home” and he just immediately breaksdown and is like trying to convince her of all the amazing sights they still need to see and the fucking LINE YOU’VE SAVED MY LIFE IN SO MANY WAYS ooF PRESS F TO PAY RESPECTS BECAUSE I DIED. Actually all of season 4 is just me having a breakdown because they really fuckin love each other so much and make each other so happy and I know how it ends and knowing how it ends I STILL have to watch them make big goofy grins at each other and go off on adventures and delight in each others company ALL WHILE KNOWING THEY’RE GONNA LOSE IT anyway tldr I love Donna and I’m crying

#anon #replies #nat talks doctor who #don't mind me I'm just Fucked Up #Anonymous #like literally welcome back to me screaming

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y01te-moved · 6 years ago

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🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

i almost cant even count how many this is but im doing every single one anyways and you cant stop me despite the fact that this obviously took me ages to actually answer

1: if ur reading this ur legally obligated to follow max (sender of this ask) Right Now. Just Do It.

2: i think more ppl with my sense of humor should watch Spider Riders bc listen.. if somewhere along the line that show suddenly gained more popularity again in this fine year of 2019 id be both actually funny for once but also revolutionary. by all technicalities some of my hcs are fucking great but i dont think i could say a lot of them and even be comprehensible outside of orientation based ones that are just rlly controversial. granted im not even sure i could or would actually recommend the show to people cause its kinda dumb a lot of the time and also fairly long at least to my standards so its harder to finish unless ur like really invested in it :pensive:

3: also on that note the next time a horny person even THINKS about Corona im Going to break into their home and then break their knees. i hate that she has so much fanart thats basically just fetish art or otherwise managing to be nsfw in some way shes like 15 at best fuck off!! its rlly only a problem on like. deviantart but it still makes me die inside.

4: character development is hard i never actually keep my ideas and what i have written down on like. my actual bios for everyone on the same pace so its a confusing mess and i wish i was better at combating that

5: anon and kanon r such good loids i wish people used them more but i think a part of the problem is that i dont always look That hard for things that use them ahdbsadgashdj

6: alex is the best sdv bachelor and im not accepting criticism on that notion. 2nd best would probably be like.. sam except i havent tried hard enough to be friends with him yet which i feel bad abt bc he seems nice

7: i miss the cracking open a cold one with the boys meme that was still one of my favorites

8: (goes BACK to thinking about SR shdfjds) the anime had no right having like so many characters base their ideals off of how brade used to be in the past and all those good takes on like not necessarily Having to resort to violence as the ultimate solution and all that good stuff just to be like, “surprise!! he actually IS still around! but also he’s going to be minimally helpful at all until the last few episodes and otherwise we’re going to make a ton of gags about him trying to hit on the like 2 girls in the team who are also like 15 while he ignores practically everyone else because thats funny!” im still so mad about it. he is the absolute worst and he has no rights. there was also so much potential they seemed like they could have used and were trying to hint at using in terms of further developing more important details about the history of the inner world or at least some of the things that had been going on well before hunter ever showed up and then they didn’t do anything but hint at the idea of brade having known hunter’s grandfather. but even that wasn’t 100% confirmed bc they dodged around it the one time they had hunter ask. its a mess.

9: my taste is so fucking weird and i hate it bc its mostly just, “oh yeah i heard abt this thing and it seems cool im hoping to start getting into it soon!” for most things that are actually cool or popular or all that and never actually get into it, but then i see smth dumb as shit that i know would probably make me look like an absolute fool for liking and im like, “oh yeah yknow what i can do this one” and then i do like it but i cant say much about it either cause i dont wanna look like. a fool.

10: these have been depressing as fuck so im gonna lighten the mood and say that himbo is a fucking hilarious word and i love it

11: also axel (kh) is a himbo. why? he just is.

12: im also bad at character design i think bc i always worry that my characters look too similar in terms of hair style like all the time and idk if its rlly that bad or not jfhgkf. that and like. so many of my characters just wear jeans and boots in terms of the lower half of their body its so unoriginal but it always works so well…

13: still disappointed in myself for having never 100%’d even 1 tlodw game. lunatic mode.. Difficult

14: i dont keep up with ace attorney fans but i hope everyone out there agrees that miles has peak vampire energies based on the way he dresses alone

15: re:zero fans have no rights only bc i only ever see ppl talking abt rem and ram like. wh.. was no one ever going to tell me about reinhard or was i just supposed to watch him get introduced in the first few eps and then fall in love w/him immediately before even finding out hes supposed to be a knight which makes him 20x better

16: leon and/or leonhart is like genuinely a good name idk why it just sounds rlly nice

17: ive had like so many technical difficulties with this site since trying to answer this i hate tumblr

18: im pretty sure im like. genuinely just gonna go mute or some shit one day cause honestly ive mostly only ever gotten worse and worse about not actually being able to say things even when i know exactly what thought im trying to say, both physically and like. online. its so weird i feel like i just cant say things. it may just be being self conscious but i restrict myself soo heavily and its WEIRD…. its like being trapped in ur thoughts and it sucks. probably doesnt even actually mean all that much but it still makes it hard for me to accomplish anything ever which i hate.

19: despite all the titles like ssbu and all that existing for the switch i think id only want one to play the new(er) inside system games i havent had the chance to yet like the spinoff card game and rudymical and also brave dungeon but w/neville and klinsy and whoever else was dlc on that game cause obviously i own the 3ds port but also neville.. good… i wanna see how she plays..

20: i miss when i could be passionate abt cave story it just makes me feel tired seeing it sometimes at this point but it also still holds a great significance to me so its just confusing and im not sure how i feel abt it

21: the SR novels were cowards only on account of not giving us any official design for petra but also for writing igneous like. That. novelverse igneous is just too bitter in general and like i get it but they couldve done a lot more with him even though he is still somewhat respectable in the end, granted its hard cause like holy shit hes so fucking mean to hunter literally who asked for that. im just glad the anime let him be somewhat more idk.. i guess sociable while still keeping a lot of the inherently essential aspects his personality had like his almost over the top loyalty to the prince and taking things like training/combat in general very seriously. its just good and animeverse igneous is so good id die for him thanks for coming to my tedtalk

#bloook why #JDSGJDGSJDHSD THIS WAS KINDA HARD TBH I DONT HAVE ALL THAT MUCH I WANNA SAY..#BUT STILL TY ANYWAYS MAX..#we would be better off just going down a list and having me state my opinions on SR characters #thats what like 2 of these were anyhow even tho no one asked

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queencryo · 6 years ago

Text

@silly-go-round is asleep right now.

i guess i should make a journal for the past few days. as good a time as any. as AMY. heh. cuz shes super good and amazing. heh.

uh...... lessee.... for the two days after the last journal i just. hung out at the house while silly worked. i managed to not keep her in bed and make her late the second day. hung out a lot, watched more adventure time, worked on my tumblr filter script (lie. i judt ran it on my main. 200 posts / day is a bitchhhh) , played a good amount of ds3 (to pointof tetris effect at a couple points the nexg few days)

also did some like. helpful tasks. washed some dishes (undone quicklu, but. eh). not enough, mot as much as i shouldve, but... i tried i guess.

alao we've like. said the same thing at the dame time a Lot while ive been here and its like. nice. its really nice. same wavelength! i feel so close go her.

oh! alxo night before last we went grocery shoping. got food for prolly enoygh for the two weeks, but i guess we'll see. also a cheesecake! it was.... echausting. hily fuck it was exhaysting. jesus. the store was big and it took like 3 hours and $200 to get everything but. we did itttt.

we both mentionef that like. it felt nice to like. have a full fridge 2gether. cuz. it feels like were gonna have a futjre togetjer? u know. like that is. i love her a lot and it feels good for this to feel like a home for a little while. we hope that it can be so in tbe future.

so YESTERDAY she finally FINALLY taught me how to play magic the gathering. it was. a long time coming. but she brought me into the store and like. sat me down w some regulars and had me play commander. i played moooostly her snake deck, so like.that was fun!! i kept talki g about how i woulda gotten lorescale Coatl up to 39/39 and flying, had i like. gotten q more turn. but on that game D was running a mill deck that was. extremely long to play (that game took like ~>2 hours ugh), and was very bery annoying, so i didnt get to actually do that.

but it was fun! part of me wants to blog everything, but i dont think i will.

im glad to be able to use silly's decks, bc i dont think i want to make my own. im considering making a cheap angel deck or smth, but we'll see if yhat actually ends up happening.

i also met her girlfriend Iz, who is sweet. i played magic w her fkr a while, which was fun! she was runni g an annoying mono black deck (i kkow all these... these Terms and Words now, its incredible...)

shes sweet and i think i like her. dunno if enough to date yet (which makes me Partially regret flirting w her so much in the groupchat but. hey)

talked w her some, mostly about magic, hung out while silly closed the store, pet her cat, silly discovered that cyddling w TWO girlfriends is very nice (not rhat id know ;;;;;;;), was good times. i dont think im as comfy w izzy physically yet as i may have implied in messages, which hopefully wull be rectified by the message i just sent her (my initial physical comfort with people varies, it depends very much on the person)

skip forward, me and silly make a pizza at home cuz were fuckin tired, she admonishes me for not eating for uh... like 11 hours or smth (that mornings bagel was VERY good tho omg), but adderall, so like... meh.

uh... i dont think anything else on yesterday...

today! we waaamted to go to the store at like. 2. but in actuality got there at like! 330.

i went back to sleep cuz im a losenerd, and she. made this breakfast casserole thing. which hse put into a bagel abd brought to me bc i guess shes the best person on the entire earth oh my GOD. jesus

skip... apparently she knows maximum the hormone and doesnt like them very much... fair fair. (cause for xeath)

came to the store agai. tofay. it was fun and good. iz didnt come in today, do played some more with regulars. played w what is apparently called a blink deck, which revolvea arounf exiling cards then immediately bringing them back, to capitalize on "when this enters battlefield, do smth" cards. neat!

i DID actually manage to win today!!! the victory was. literally handed to me, but like. thats fine! i was playing silly's uhhh... elintor the masked? idr her name :( the mask planewalker! deck, which. i had SO much land, most of wh8ch was enchanfed. meaning it could be tapped then untapped w eljntor's thing, then tapped again for DOUBLE MANA. i mean. i had like 9/turn even b4 that but. BUT. i also had. i think i drew 3 creatures total. bit anyway. i had the white card that gave me a life whenever a creature was put on tge board (and also, w another enchantment, made all non-me creagurss and enchantments enter the board tapped, so. nya). so... rob had a card what dealt one damGe to all other players whenevr he puta. creature on the board. then he played united forces, which lets each player commit X mana to create X 1/1 soldier tokens on all players' boards. so. we made 28 white soldier tokens on everyones board. this killed perry, ans gave me, uh. 56 life (84 - 28). i then attacked ron for 28 w the soldiers, and drew sacred mesa, which lets me sacrifice 2 mana (1 any color, 1 white, but i had so many cards that said "this land can instead be tapped for 2 of any color, so like. ueah) to create a 1/1 flying pegasus token. so i. ended the game w 44 white 1/1 tokens. goblins get fucked.attack w my ssoldiers cuz his were tapped, so brought him down to 7 life. i didng catch what he did w the enchantment, but i think he said he like. put a copy of every creature on my side of the board onto his board, and then. cipying that enchantment 3 times. so. holy FUCK. wow. BUT those all came in tapped and i had 18 flying yokens, so. i still won! yay!!!! i won a game of magic!!!!!

goblin decks scare me. stop running krenko you fucks. exponential goblins goddamn

silly would come by every so often and like. look over my dhoulder and say "oh that was dumb whyd u use fabricate for thay" which is fair. but also god i love her. (i used fabricate for a mana generator insteaf of lightning greaves. whateverrrr) i love her so much dear god. i wish i coukd help w the store more, but. on the same time i also. dont enjoy working. so. maybe part time.

hm. what ekse. oh yeah i kove her so much.

by the end of the night it was just. me and her, rob and the two regulars i started out llaying w yestwrday. theyre sweet, i like them. theyre married. the dude calls me honey smtimes, which is. kinda weird? dunno how i feel about that. i guess fine. its gender-nice, but still a lil uncomfy. otherwise i like em fien, though. but they talked abouy moving into sillys apt. so thats cool!! better than her current (awful, terrible, lazy / horrifically depressed / manchild roomate, who doesnt clean ever) roomate. i was reading the monster of the week gamebook thruout, which i... bought, for some reason. idk. oh also i wanna make a fallen angel divine, because im... predictableeee. also a conspiracy thworist whos just a trans woman w way too much time and really weird hobbies (throwing knices, butterfly knife, net friends, etc). also a spooky. i speny like. 3 hours reading thr7 the monster of the week book while ppl played magic around me. i kinda wish i hadnt bought it, but hey! its neat c:

oh, also i didnt take adderall today. i dont think it went toooo bad, i think i like. was meaner and less thohghtful with what i said, but like. i guess thats better than feared. i took a caffeine pill (200mg) at ariund 10 which is. prolly why im wide awake right now. i regret doing that, sincr from what shes said tmos gonna be big)

she says we gotta be at her moms by 4, for reasons she WONT TELL ME. bit she says its part of one of her plans, i ASSUME the romantic one? im kind of afraid that ill like. no-sell it unwillingly because im abroke and soulless human being, but uh. i guess rhats thw risks we take to be alive :shrug: im excited. were also going to a shop (diff one) tmo, which im Quite excited for, as ive only been in similar shops by accident before. also doing laundry!!! which is important ^_^

oh ysah. so we got white castle on the way home. its. yeah she was r8ght. mediocre-at-best sliders. onions are bad.

we also made a pizza. whifh i ate most of. i overate. sob.

she fell asleep halfway thry an episode of nailed it. cant blame her, she seemed really tired. i hipe i dont disturb her rwst. and i feel so utterly blessed thay i can be around her.

ih!! i also fell down the last few staies ywstersay. bruised my arms, but otherwise fine. it was. idk, it is nice to knoe that others worry fir me and like me. she was very concerned. i love her.

#blog #ohio trip 2 #journal

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